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#79 wonder..
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @ 10:56 PM
i dunno how to say out those exacts words in my mind. but, i guess that's just it..
even after so long, there's still this thing inside me that i cant get rid of. well, the memories are really nice. but sometimes, i dunno what to think about those memories. as in, sometimes when i think of it, it seems like there's a chance. however, sometimes it seems like its not gonna happen kinda thing. so darn confusing. sometimes, its tearing me apart, although the frequency is lesser now. LOL. -.-
can i just escape from reality? well, there's no virtual world for me to go into. i just wanna leave this place and leave all the memories behind. sometimes, it gets so terrible that i wanna just get run down by a car and lose all memories! well, that's like so not gonna happen. every little thing from that show just hack into my memory space and started restoring everything inside.
but, i think im smiling more for those memories now rather than sulking. and, i still haven figure out what i want. heads or tails? i wonder.. i think what i need is not heads or tails but a brand new coin to toss. where can i get it? ^.-
btw, signed up for voluntary work! :D my mum approves of it. at least, i have something to do at home rather than thinking of all those rubbish stuff.
oh gosh, how i love christmas! :D haha. and, the new year's coming! maybe going marina bay tmr. (:
okay, knowing that the new year's coming, i shall post my new year resolutions. :D this year's the first year i ever seriously did this. i think, im changing in many ways. (: well, i hope its positive change. haha. alright.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS: #1 Getting into my dream course - INTERIOR ARCHITECTURE! well, it doesnt really matter which school i go to. as long as i can study that course can le. im like super crazy over that course. LOL. BUT, the school i wish for most is Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts(NAFA).
#2 Improve my relationship with God i haven't been doing my quiet time regularly and very long dun have discipleship le! i hope i'll be more spiritually-mature when i go into poly. (:
#3 Get a job this only apply to the times when im not studying. like, during the long holidays or something then i'll get a job. i can earn some cash for myself and dun have to depend too much on my parents. IF, i can study and work at the same time, it would definitely be better. but, its tough. my cousin say interior architecture very time consuming.. ): but, nevertheless, I"LL STUDY HARD! :D
#4 Get to know more people(friends) to be honest, im not really good at socialising(although i talk a lot) and, i dislike socialising. i just cant be normal in front of other people. so, i tend to like change myself, which is so fake! and, to me, making friends is so difficult especially when i cannot be myself in front of strangers! so, i hope that next year, it'll be easy for me to make friends. (: get to know more female ones la. i think i've got way too many male friends as compared to female. LOL. BUT, i still have to know some guys! :D hmm, maybe i know some and a relationship awaits? ^.- hmm.. HAHA! exclaimer: im not so desperate.
well, that's all for MY new year resolutions. maybe there'll be more? haha. i need more time to think through the things i did this year.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Troll the ancient Yule tide carol, Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the blazing Yule before us, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Strike the harp and join the chorus. Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure, Fa la la la la, la la la la. While I tell of Yule tide treasure, Fa la la la la, la la la la.
All these stars have come out to shine so bright On this Christmas night (Christmas night) We can share this special night So
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sing we joyous, all together, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Hope the north pole gets my letter Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Deck the halls (deck the halls) Deck the halls (deck the halls) Fa la la la la, la la la la.
my cousin's staying in my house for a week. so, i have to prepare him with homework and stuff. since he doesn't have any assessment book in my house, so went down to buy one for him. got a mathematics assessment cause he was super bad at maths. as i was queueing up to pay for the book, i looked through it and smiled to myself. :D
everything inside is what i've been through. those questions looked so familiar and i was rather tempted to have it for myself. BUT, i've already graduated from sec4! LOL. a lot of primary school memories came back to me when i was looking thru the book. how hard we've studied for PSLE. now, to us, PSLE is like a piece of cake. (:
this brought me to keneth's post of "Look into your past". i think people rarely look into the past unless something they chance upon brings them back. for example, when i was packing my wardrobe, i saw this picture when i was in pattaya, thailand. i was SUPER fat and my hair was SUPER long. :D LOL. i still remember how playful i was at that time. i asked to go for parachute rides, i wanted to have a ride on the banana boat. and, i still remember, we fell down into the water when we were on the boat! so fun. (: my cousins still have their hair plaited at some roadside stall. haha.
well, memories are really wonderful. be it good or bad, when you think of it, you'll still smile. (: it is from all these memories that we grew up as what we are today and will be in the future. as time passes, you'll have more memories(like duh). LOL. but, i would like to ask. what is the most MEMORABLE memory that you have? well, i have a lot of great memories. but, there's one where i will never forget. (: i guess everyone have one. no one knows what the future lies, but everyone knows what their past have been.
however, one should not dwell too much in their past or else, they'll never have a wonderful future. (am i saying myself or what? ^.-)
my mum just told me about the news of this guy who ran over three guys after being drunk. when he was caught, he told the police that his car was stolen. he was actually an ambassador and few days later, just went back to his country. two of the three people were dead. and, he manage to run away scot free. what an idiot? well, he was just highly suspected of this crime though.
why can rich people do bad things and just get away? quite irritating. never get involve with any rich guy, the best method.
suppose to bring my cousin along to school to get my EAGLES award but my brother came home on time. so, i didnt had to bring him. i was about to leave the house and saw the letter, which says AFTER 28dec. so, text changyen to ask if she's going. in the end, they all met each other to get it. so, i have to go alone. i have to say, i cried. sorry la.
so, after getting the money, i went to mac to have breakfast. (: and took bus home. then came home emo liao. so hide in my room and use comp. LOL. after that, bathe and watch tv. once again, my bro cook lunch. (: then slack all the way liao. asked my cousin to do his work too. and, in the evening about 6pm, my uncle wanted my cousin to go home for awhile. so my bro fetch him home. and i met him and my mum at lot1 for dinner. we had PIZZA HUT! :D wee~ and i was super high liao. so we chatted over dinner and my another cousin came to join us for awhile.
he was like saying, "i fat liao." and my mum said, "if you call this fat, then aren't i fatter?" so my cousin was like saying that my mum's married so, it doesnt matter. but, he still need to jio girls one. and my mum asked, "i thought you have one already? break AGAIN ar?" and he replied(in hokkien), "ah yi, cannot say until like that la. like i everyday change girlfriend like that. you should ask what happen." then my bro and i were laughing! haha. so funny when he say in hokkien. LOL. he and his girlfriend ar. all play one. -.- well, the first one was real feelings la. but the girl play him. now, they both play each other. is not the same girl ar.
ohh well, relationship stuff, hard to say. you can be suuuper sweet this second, but quarrel at the other. alright. then we went to NTUC to buy some stuff. my mum wanted to buy some ham so she went to the ham section. then she asked me which ham do i prefer. she ask my bro the same question again. and my bro replied something super irrelevant saying that there's tuna at home. -.- so my mum say, "okay, then we choose shoulder ham."
when she turn around, she tell the person, "can i have tuna ham?" that guy immediately give the ^.- look! super funny! haha! but, that guy quite shuaii la. after he pass the ham to my mum, he look at me and our eyes met. super embarrassing! i faster turn away and walk liao. but, i have to say, he's cute. :D LOL. i think seeing cute/hot guys makes my life better. LOL!
after that, went to dabao subway(eat fresh~) for my dad and went to the kopitiam at the bus interchange to meet my uncle. then went home. was actually lazy to blog. but, just type la. LOL. i think lesser and lesser people are going online now. due to their work i guess. (: adieu~
there's something i have to stop doing. but somehow, i just do it. well, its been still for awhile, so, i have to stop doing it! oh man. this is killing me. when will i ever stop? ...
this is the first time i went to PULAU UBIN and it was tiring. haha. it took us about an hour to get to ubin. but, it was fun. i went with my cousins. :D
on the boat, we had this caucasian couple with two toddler. one, a baby and the other a girl. (: their eyes are SUPER nice! the baby had a greyish blue eyes while the girl had a greenish blue eyes. :D i manage to take a photo of the baby. shall post it later. haha.
alright, we rented a bike and started the journey in ubin. the slopes are super tiring! i only manage to cycle up about 5 slopes. the rest, i push my bike. -.- the most dificult part was the mountain tracks. urgh.. the rocky roads made my butt hurt. cause, it was way too bumpy. LOL. then our lunch was some tidbits and the glass bottle china apple juice. :D feels like drinking beer like that. haha. then we carried on cycling until 5plus. when we wanted to leave, it started raining. good timing. :D
the baby and the girl. (: try to zoom in and see. they SUPER cute! :D:D
On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me, 4 calling birds 3 french hens 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. ~
alright, im being lame. whatever. sorry for not blogging the past few days. i wanted to but was VERY tired.
26dec 2009: met up with samuel, zhaoxiong and daniel to start preparations for the party. (: went to zhenke's house first and started doing the stuffs. after that, went down to the function room at 12.30pm to deco it. saw shicheng on the way. he was earlier than expected but he was asked to fetch bingchen from the mrt. LOL.
we started the deco while daniel went to look for chester and samuel went to chinese garden to fetch the people who are coming. (: chester and daniel blew the balloons while me and zhaoxiong deco lo. and the rest of the people came halfway thru the preparations. so we stop. -.- AND, the party starts!
chester and i collected presents and tag them. shicheng was the card-seller and samuel was the emcee. then they started with the intro thing and then the game. samuel, daniel and i demo to them and they started the game. daniel's group won cause samuel was a bit slow ar. it was thing mittens game where you have to wear a mitten and open one candy cane. yupp. i was just standing there laughing. LOL.
after that, it was card exchange, then lunch. the lunch was sumptuous! they have two turkeys, shepherd's pie, pasta, ham, etc. all the christmas food. (: after lunch, we had gift exchange. :D i got a packet of chocolates. quite nice. it was one of the chocolates i like with caramel filling. haha. but i've got no idea at all who bought that. well, THANKS anyway. (: i got a cup for gift exchange with eeyore designs and guoning(siwei's brother) got it. haha.
we clean up the place after sunil's speech and waited for the van to fetch us. in the end, we took a cab instead cause we were late for service. this is the first time i sat so near to the stage during service. kinda cool. LOL. after service, we had to wash the pots once again cause its not clean. then i had to rush home cause my mum scolding already. THE END. :D
MERRY CHRISTMAS ONCE AGAIN! (especially to Just Married Just Kidding) thank you for keeping me company today! :D haha. and, im worried about the party later. LOL, i shall pray. (:
im really tired, but i chose to blog first. cause, i had a wonderful christmas morning. :D alright. woke up in the morning and went out to meet Just Married Just Kidding. HAHA. had breakfast at mac and chatted for like super long. from 9am to 11.45am. hee. and we sent josh to work. after that, the three of us went shopping. and on our way, we saw zhenlin. LOL.
well, we shopped till 1plus. they were helping me to look for christmas presents. tomorrow's the party. so i've got to bring a present for gift exchange. so, yeah. got two cards too. (: we went to popular and saw this book about teaching SINGLISH. so, we read it. there's this part where i think its really funny. there are two columns. one with the correct english, the other is the singlish.
ENGLISH/SINGLISH Good morning/Hi Good afternoon/Hi Good night/Bye
we were laughing so much when reading the book! LOL. at one plus, we all went home. (: i got home and started folding the stars. (: now, i've completed two bottles. :D and then, slack all the way. except that i did a bit of housechores. actually, only one: sweep the floor. went out for dinner at about 7plus and saw my aunt. so, we ate tgt until 10plus, with all the chatting and stuff. my cousin came to my house for overnight again! T.T his mum, my aunt, is going to SARAWAK in a few days time. so, no one is taking care of him and thus, i have to do this job. ohh well, my bro's at home too. LOL.
have anyone ever wondered, what if, in the future, your child have some illness when they are born. like, hyperactive or a bit retarded kinda illness. will you abandon him/her or just take care of them and be patient with them? i just watch some news and it talked about two families. one with only a mother and two kids, while the other, a dad and his 30plus old son.
well, one of the two kids is a hyper-hyperactive boy where no one can control him. he's not afraid of anyone. not even the police. -.- and have some mental problems too. his mum cant control him at all and have to send him to some place under the care of others. the other family, that son was a little retarded and got cheated by someone to be the guarantor of some loans. in the end, he lost his money and both of them depended heavily on his other siblings. the father did not give up on his son at all. no matter how hard it is, he encourages the boy and help him find his way. which would you be? the mother, or the father?
i would choose to be the patient one..
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D to all reading my blog. (:
second post of the day. (: worked quite a lot these few days at home. no money get one, btw. LOL. did housechores today and napped. cause i was really tired. have been sleeping late these few days due to the movies i've watched on tuesday and wednesday and the anime craze that im having.
alright, my mum came home and we went out for dinner. walked around lot1 and then went home. cause i wanted to catch, LEGEND OF THE SEEKER. hee. :D nice show. (: i just realised how haolian my parents and my brother were. -.- well, i have to admit that my brother's good. in poly, his grades were really good. my mum said that his results out of 4points, got 3.8plus. that's super good liao lo. and now, he's in OCS. at least he's a nice brother. (: he just cooked lunch for me today. :D QUITE sumptuous. haha.
BUT, there's no need for them to be so haolian la. everytime boast one leh. cant stand it. and all the neighbours all asking, "eh, your son OCS ar. not bad ar." then all action liao. and my kor, scared ppl dunno he from OCS one. -.- go lot1 also must wear his OCS jacket. ... at home, wear his OCS shirt and fbt look alike. so irritating. AND, tried to suan me just now, for not having money. sorry lo, i get money through playing. he gets it through slogging. still so cocky. cant stand it!
well, this christmas wasnt what i wanted but, in my family, i dun expect anything for christmas. but its the christmas EVE! aww man. i think christmas should be really nice and warm. haha, and today's weather is really cooling. (: well, if it snows, it would be much better. :D wayyyyyyyy better. haha! white christmas.
is the cup half filled, or half empty? you might have just heard it from drama series or anywhere. it just depends on how you look at things. i was lying on my bed yesterday looking at the painted walls, in the dark. i was trying to look at the difference in colour. since the wall's blue, would it be darker in the dark as compared to the white wall in the dark. well, certainly it is.
i got linked to another question. how would my brother's room look like, cause its green. will there be any difference in colour from my room? i think i've got nothing better to do. -.- usually, things in the dark will be black(mostly). so, i was just thinking. i tried to look at the dark wall, imagining it as green instead of blue. it actually does look like a green wall!
well, the point is, the room's dark. whatever you see also dark. so, its purely imagination and how you look at the wall. this concluded why i wrote this post. i think its quite cool. everything have many points of view depending on which you prefer to look at it. those that choose the negative way tends to indulge in their stubborn-ness. well, those people that choose positive, they'll be the ones who'll be happier. :D i shall try to do that too. haha. :D
now that my nails are cut, it makes typing easier and faster. haha. alright, my house's officially done! :D it looks much more spacious now. it was hard work, man. got up early in the moning, 8plus, to make sure that someone opens the door for the workers. my parents had to work and i was all left alone at home. they came earlier than expected. and so, they start work at bout 9am. :D
watched SOUL EATER all the way when they are working. haha. and my cousin came to pei me at about 10am with my breakfast. (: bar cor mee. LOL. so, he play maple, i watch anime. when he gets bored, he pei me watch the anime. haha. got tired and he went for a nap in my room. cause that's the only room that's free and with a bed. -.- the workers finish work at about 4plus and we had to clean up the place. so, i vacuumed the floor and he mopped it. :D yay!
parents got home at about 5plus and we started the OFFICIAL cleaning up. it took us until 8plus. now, my house looks so different. haha. well, not a lot. but there's still the obvious change. :D shiok! next time, my room will have a radio and a tv! :D shiok x10! haha! i think my dad is born a JOKER. -.- from the time he came home, he's been yanking at my cousin jokingly. so dumb. and we're all like............ my cousin just played along with him too. LOL. that's the best way. (:
yupp, during the clean up, my cousin went down to get tickets for AVATAR(3D)! my first 3D movie. it was the 9pm show and ended just now. (: about 3hours. -.- to be exact, 2hours45min. alright, THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR! i think this show practically rocks! the graphics, the storyline, the plot, the events. very nice. well, the romance part's the best! :D:D:D well, im a girl. what do you expect. (: how i wish im an avatar. :D
alright, you can see that this post is much more detailed than ytd's one cause im super happy today! :D
today's the first day of the painting! :D woke up rather early to move more furnitures. when it was 9, the workers came and start work. they painted all the way up to 5.30pm. well, now, my room's BLUE! :D:D the master bedroom was super PINK. -.- they have yet to paint my bro's room and the different doors. well, i like my living room colour too. very nice. (: beige-orange like that one.
when they left, we started moving the furnitures back to their usual place. it took us bout 3hours. -.- and, im so TIRED. i found out. one best way to train muscles: move your furniture around everyday! LOL. i've two bruises on my knee, a small cut on my thumb and an injured ankle, from all the moving! tired like siao.
then we met my dad at lot1 and went for movies! :D bodyguards and assasins. (: not a bad movie. but, all the good ppl who can fight die. -.-I LOVE ZHEN ZI DAN! he super cool! :D haha. i love his fighting moves. shuaii too, for his age. HAHA! came home and deco my place until just now. had a chat with an OLD friend. (: really old.. haha. it feels good, so good. well, though im really tired, but, i still love the day. :DD
let's not talk bout ytd. half the thing that happened ytd was BAD, TERRIBLE, etc. (all the negative words you can find in your dictionary) apparently, i quarrelled with my mum to a very bad extent. cause i rebutted her like siao. -.- the only fun part about ytd was meeting daniel and zx for the programmes. then spend half an hour walking around to look for sunil's house. we got there, i barely said a few words, and i gotta go. LOL. and my mum was being freaking unreasonable that time.
it was time for me to go home and it didnt felt like home at all. when can i stop running and rushing to meet curfews? hello, im 16 already and Olevels over. y must i always have restrictions? i dreaded coming back to this house. when i got home, i just hide in my room and only went out for dinner. after dinner, i thought i could at least watch tv awhile and she started ranting at me again. I DUN WANNA GET SCOLDED LIAO LA! i get scolded for almost everything i do. not even a single praise. im so tired........ mentally.
now, i dun even dare to do a lot of things. all i need and must do are the housechores. even though i do it, its not enough. i'll still get scolded. i'd rather hide in my own room FOREVER. i wouldn't wanna step out of my room even when there's no one at home. cause my room's where i feel that im myself. i need something to do that makes me feel that im myself too! but, im not allowed to work. cause, she wants me to stay at home to do housechores. wth.
i cant find the maggie mee! and im left with nothing to eat. except bread. for breakfast and lunch. -.- she didnt give pocket money as well. i wanna go out! T.T
after such a long time, i finally went church again. there are reasons why i didnt go for such a long time. -.- alright, my day started out, HUNGRY!
well, i woke up with a growling stomach. actually, i woke up already. but, i dun like the fact that when i wake up, i see my mum and other family members. so, i fake sleep for quite awhile until 9plus. (: wash up and SLACK! watched power rangers jungle fury :D and, some idol show. (: had maggie mee at bout 11plus. and, my mum came home at 12plus with a dabao-ed lunch. im SUPER full. -.-
then, started packing my stuff again. my mum LOVE those laughing buddhas and she's got like 18 of those statues? idols la. and, poor me. i have to wrap them up one by one. and place them nicely in a box. my whole hand turned black after all those newspaper wrapping. then i had to pack my room, place all my bags away, etc. tmr, i have to pack my wardrobe. its REALLY messy. ):
there's this one incident where my mum had no choice but to let me go church. :D she asked me to place the photo albums(of various sizes) into the cupboard above my wardrode. that cupboard is already full of things and she wants me to stuff the albums inside. initially, i thought i couldnt. so, i tell her and she ask me to pack the cupboard as well. but, i dun see the need to. cause, if i were to repack it, it'll take a lot of time. then she ask me to use a stool to repack the cupboard. im like, "no need la." and she said, "you think you can pack all these without a stool? you think you really that tall ar? if you can pack it without the stool, i let you have anything you want ar." i proved her wrong. :D I AM TALL! haha! then she let me go! wee~ but i was late for service. -.-
well, i was glad i went to church today. (: the service was really hilarious, i got the main message la. PASTOR MATT FIELDER! i think he's really funny. the only times i dun understand him is when he talks like VERY fast. the funny parts are the 'wine-whine' thing and how he acts in different accent. he's really good. haha! ohh well, had fun anyway. (:
after service, was suppose to go home. but daniel told me there was christmas party meeting. so i called my mum and went back up to rooftop to find him. and, i felt SUUUUUUUPER awkward when im there. -.- my heart's like thumping like siao! imagine, sitting with a group of guys. i mean not those small group. but, about 15ppl? wah, that's terrible man. so, i kept standing there and then alex ask us to sit at another table and i feel safer. PHEW~ i dun like to be in a group where there's nothing i can talk to them about. i'll look so retarded. -.- and, i've found the mature and childish group in kabod! haha! so funny. (:
after dinner, we had the discussion and i left rooftop at 9pm when im suppose to reach home by 9.30pm. obviously, IM LATE! by, 6min. my mum didnt do anything. haha. cause i told her i'll be 5min late. i had to run from the mrt station all the way to my house. i haven been running for a long while. now, my legs kinda hurt. haha. but, i love the reminiscing of me running to meet curfews. its been long ever since i last had that. (:
well, at least ytd evening i didnt get scolded. haha. it was my aunt's birthday ytd. so went to IMM to have a meal with her and my cousin. (: had our meal at HOSHI. the restaurant where i had MY birthday meal with daniel, changyen, etc. :D nicee~ but forget to order soft shell crab. hee~
after the meal, came home and do a bit of housechores and watch tv all the way le. (: love thursday! :D there are a whole chain of shows i can watch. (: from 5.30pm to 9.30pm! haha. then after shows, i went to sleep. and i only had 3pieces of bread for dinner. -.-
i laid on my bed from 9.30pm onwards and only fell asleep at 11plus. and, i keep waking up in the middle of the night, hoping that it would be morning soon. i wonder what's wrong. ^.- i cant sleep at night unless im reeeeeally suuuuuper tired. and, in the morning, i keep yawning, wanting to sleep. i think im turning nocturnal. LOL.
alright, woke up at 7plus, but force myself to sleep until 9.30am. then cooked my breakfast, campbell soup and 2pieces of bread. (: i just realised my mum gave me $15 for me since wednesday. just saw it on my table. -.- super lag. i'll have to pack my room later and start sending out the brochures. (: hee. cool~ next tuesday, painting time! :D and my cousin's coming to pei wo. can chiong maple with him. haha.
gosh, someone, just save me from this misery! -.- i hate staying at home with nothing to do. got scolded again from my mum. its super wth. i did all the housechores that im suppose to. but, all she does is to scold me for not doing enough. as if i know what i should do. she cooked a soup two days ago and we cant finish it. so, she left it in the pot on the stove. ytd evening when she came back, she scolded me for not heating up the soup and letting it spoil. im like, DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW?! i dun even wanna drink it, y would i heat it up?
the thing i dreaded the most everyday is for her to come back home in the evening. i'll definitely get scoldings from her. aargh! wonder what she'll scold today, not cleaning up the shelves? ^.- hope i'll get use to it soon. AND, my comp gets confiscated every evening. -.-
everyone's working and i can hardly find someone with no job to go out with me! even if i can go out, i dun have the expenses to do so. i think i should start working soon. LOL. completed another anime again. and now, on to the next one. my life's all about animes now. can i have something to do other than housechores and anime?? im dying from boredom! *sobs*
CHRISTMAS'S COMING! im feeling so excited. (: though i know nothing special will happen. cause, its not something that i can celebrate. i just hope that soon, i can celebrate a WHITE christmas! :D and, i love the ORANGE christmas song from OKTO! :D niceeeee~ hee.
ohh well, its just another slack day for me. :D haha. i slack my whole day. watching animes and using the comp all the while. back to loving animes! :D
woke up rather late today again but earlier than ytd. (: bathed and start my slacking! :D my dad bought lunch for me! then he went out and i had to prepare the dishes for dinner. he came home and finish cooking it. haha.
nothing much happen today since im ALWAYS at home. -.- just do some chores. IM BORED!! ): ohh well. that's life, for me. im missing school. how i have recess, running about here and there, going for NCC, having trainings, chat with my friends. ahhh, that's so cool! i shall go back to school some day soon. (: well, i've got to take my edusave money anyway. (;
i was on facebook, on social interview looking through the questions. one of them asked, "who would the person you miss looking at if you're blind?" i guess the answer should be the same as my previous post, yeahh.
this is the first time in my whole life that i woke up at 12.30pm! wow. cause i slept at 4am last night. -.- haha.
after that, slacked all the way till my mum comes home and found out that i received $200 for my EAGLES! :DDDD super happy! haha. then went for dinner and for movies with my parents. (: watched 2012, as the title shows. that show's really good. and i know i a bit lag ar. now then go watch 2012. LOL.
what happens if its really the end of the world? who would the first person you wanna meet and talk to? perhaps, say, "i love you" to the person. have anyone ever thought of it? if you ever had a last call to make, who would it go to?
just got back home from orchard. my legs are falling apart. we walked all around orchard to get my bro's social night dinner clothes. -.-
woke up to realise that i had nosebleed. then while stopping the blood, i fell asleep again. haha. was THAT tired. woke up officially at bout 11plus. then had my breakfast that my mum dabao-ed for me. then my uncle came to fetch my cousin home and we went out eat again. im growing fat. -.- but, i controlled the amount of food i eat.
after that, went home and slacked. bathed, change and head for orchard. landed on ion orchard first. went to TOPMAN to look for my bro's clothes then after that, went to my mum's friend's restaurant to eat. walked for over 15min from ion to there. and my legs hurt like siao already (wearing heels) -.-
then went over to the singtel building to get my bro's new phone, N97mini. good lo. LOL. waited bout an hour for it. headed over to my aunt's place and ate AGAIN. but only mozerella sticks. (: after that, went shopping again. my legs hurt like crap already! walked for super long and got my bro's shirt from orchard central, G2000. got a tie too. everyone agrees that the shirt suits my brother, but, i dun think so at all. cause, its pink and striped. exactly the one daniel wore for prom i think. ^.- and, bought this red super ugly tie! my mum and the rest of the family thinks that its nice overall. -.- the tie's like red, with golden and a bit of grey stripes. who cares.
have you ever lived in a family where they favour boys over girls? well, that's what im experiencing now. that's super irritating. my bro got back from camp, sprained his ankle and everyone was like head over heels towards him. my dad was so nice when waking him up. but for me, just shouted right in my face. wth. my mum, she doesnt even bother for my prom. but, when my bro said he had a dinner this friday, she brought him over to orchard today to shop. and paid for it. let him try this and that. look at every shirt carefully like as if he was going to get married. my uncle and aunt were like, "ehh, your son getting married tmr ar?" wth? i dun even get such treatment when i have my prom night. she dun even bother to take me out to orchard and shop for my dress. that sucks. ever since young, everyone dotes on my bro more than me. he's the only guy in the CHANG family. so have to depend on him to carry on with the generation. -.- when my paternal relatives know that i was a girl, no one came to see me. not even a single one. but, for my bro, all of them came and looked at him, etc. idiot.
i was feeling super down when they were all looking for clothes for my brother. wanted to cry so badly but always had to put on the mask like i was really happy to go out. plus, my leg really hurts A LOT. i had to fake it like its not hurting. -.- y do i have to put on that darn disguise. so sick of it. finally, i can cry openly in my room. LOL.
hey! im back! :D well, the trip was alright. quite fun and tiring. i shall now post about the trip before i get too lazy. LOL.
10/12/09: sian. -.- the queue in T1 was super long for checking-in. so waited for about an hour for our turn. got thru the scanner thing and my contacts lotion + deodorant was CONFISCATED! *sobs* -.- whatever. then up to the plane and it was super small! i feel so unsafe. but, its okay la. flight was only about half an hour. very fast. my seat was hardly warmed up and they said it was time to land. -.-
JETSTAR 3k683 KUALA LUMPURLANDED!
when in KL, waited for my uncle to drive us for breakfast cause we got there at bout 9am. the market's food was delicious and cheap! :D shiok. haha. after that, went to check in into our apartment, which took about 2hours. -.- then while waiting, we went for shopping! :D but, that shopping centre was too expensive. all branded! so, we only had lunch there. (:
we went back to the apartment and slacked. i was too tired, so i napped. woke up, bathe and went for dinner. (sounds like i only eat, sleep, slack.) the dinner was at some roadside stall. i mean, really roadside! i love it man! super cool. the food's nice too. (: well, there's just a few stalls only though. haha.
after dinner, went back to the house and play all the way. bought some tidbits and chatted thruout the night. i was too tired, so, was the first to sleep. (: (tired cause i had to carry the little one all the while) 11/12/09: was disturbed and thus, woke up. -.- had breakfast at some stall which was faraway and takes super long for the food to come. need to make reservation one. even though we made already, we had to wait for an hour before the food comes. IT IS THAT GOOD. somemore, its just a roadside stall! after that, went to mid-valley and shop like siao!! woo~ i love it! :D
haha, we had like 4hours+ to shop. bought a lot of accessories, 3t-shirts and had a sumptuous lunch! :D wanted to buy the watch and jacket but, i spend too much. -.- haha. then went back to the apartment and waited for my aunt to come back. they lost their way in KL. (they drove to KL) so, used their car to travel in KL and lost their way. spend 3hours driving IN KL, not knowing where they were -.-
they came back and then we went to this another faraway place for BAK KUT TEH! haha. i didnt really eat much cause i dun really like it. but, the YOU TIAO was nice. :D ate a lot of it. haha. and after that dinner, i had to carry my cousin all around. :D i spend like three quarters of the trip carrying her. it was tiring, but i enjoyed it. its okay! :D kids are just super cute! :DD
they dabao a lot of things back to the apartment for supper. KFC included. -.- i bathed when i got home and played mahjong! :D haha. fun!
12/12/09: got disturbed and woke up again. washed up and went for dim sum breakfast! :D was superb! i love dim sum. and i just realised that most dim sum are made of seafood. LOL. prawns, fish, etc. after breakfast, we went back home to pack our stuff (i almost left my bible behind!) LOL. then went to LOT10 to shop. :D bought another shirt. haha! wanted to buy one blouse but was too ex. so didnt. then we went back to retrieve my uncle's(the one who live in KL) car. we are always squeezing in the car. 3cars, 15ppl.(not including the baby) -.- my leg always have to suffer. cause, its long! HAHA.
then we went to my uncle's house for awhile to look at his son's wedding photos and videos. (: then headed for the airport. had mac as dinner and now, im back home! in singapore. :D
JETSTAR 3K688 SINGAPORE LANDED!
HANNAH.
#1. rowdy #2. honest #3. loves sweet (always use sweet to bribe her) #4. hyperactive #5. loves to make guy friends (HAHA) #6. sings hokkien songs! she's the one that i had to carry. that's how i exercise in KL. 17kg...
ESTHER! hannah's younger sister. the extreme cute girl! cute x10^100000000
#1. chooses who to carry her. (only her immediate relatives) #2. knows how to kiss! #3. very quiet #4. always stare at YOU. #5. calls her daddy "da da" #6. cries upon seeing her dad walk past!
i only managed to carry her on the second night when she was about to sleep. haha. more photos of her in facebook. i have her bathing photos too! but, too bad. :D haha. she's really cute! laid with her on the bed and she rolls about. HAHA!
one more photo.
I LOVE KIDS! :D they are like extremely cute! have you ever imagined how your child will call you when they are like babies? their first word! :DD and, the effort you have to take care of them is really tough but, its all worth it. really. i just laid on her bed and it feels so wow. i love the baby smell! smell of milk. :D hee. yay!
alright, decided to wake up earlier to blog before i leave for the airport at 5am. -.- 2things to blog about.
firstly, according to my title, its Him. well, ytd i was suddenly having this super nice attitude to my parents and cousin when i dun mean it at all. as in my heart and mind opposes each other. it was really weird. i felt that i wasnt myself. my heart was still filled with anger. but, my actions are like EXTREMELY friendly to my mum. i thought i would dislike my mum more than my dad. but, in fact, i dislike my dad more then my mum. ^.- wonder y... LOL. well, anw, im sure it wasnt me. cause, im those stubborn ones. doing things that come straight to my mind. so, i was wondering, if it could be Him. trying to make things easier and better for me. even after i talked super nicely to my mum, i cried. because, im thinking, why does my heart feels the other way and it felt empty. i guess, its God. (: Amen.
secondly, i wasnt able to fall asleep last night. its like, the more tired i get, the harder it is for me to sleep. so, i listened to 'muttons to midnight' all the way until the end. and at the end, the conversation with desiree lai, they talked bout TAYLOR LAUTNER! :D freaking hot! :D:D that totally made my day. im already tired. but, when they talked bout this, i was excited until i cant get to sleep at all! LOL! ohh, they were saying, taylor lautner's tgt with taylor swift! i dunno true or not. but, whatever. :D and, they were also saying how the girls reacted in the cinema when the muttons went to watch new moon. the scene where jacob took off his shirt when bella fell off the bike. LOL! i have no reactions then i think. cause, jacob's still in his long hair. which, makes me feel a little disgusted. haha!
so, they were like asking, "is it true that girls like hot guys, we definitely cant have that six pacs!" im like, duhh! both ofyou only know how to eat! haha. well, having super developed muscles is just another element, at least to me, another criteria. but, dun have also never mind. :D haha! ohh well, i shall try an enjoy my trip. -.- ciao~
i'll be going to KL tmr. not really very fascinated about it. cause, i didnt wanna go in the first place. LOL. my mum booked the tickets before even telling me i'll be going. ohh well, whatever. they've went out for dinner and im now alone at home. the happiest time of my day! LOL.
okay, its like i've been taking planes every week. last week was hongkong, now, KL. i'll be taking plane to KL! i'd rather take bus. LOL. taking plane is so waste time. no TV per person somemore. plus, only 45min. what can i do on the plane? no movies to watch as well. and i have to go changi airport early in the morning AGAIN. hah, im rich! LOL. planes every week. sounds cool, huhh. but only these two weeks la. haha. after which, my house will be on renovation. just some change here and there.
woke up with tiredness and there's still that anger that lies in me. i can hardly open my eyes. just want to carry on sleeping. ohh well. i got to send my cousin to tuition. so, woke up earlier. in the end, my dad brought him to tuition. actually, im not that grateful for what he've done. if he had told my mum he's not working today, i dun think i'll have to get scolded. -.-
after washing up, watched tv and did a bit of housechores. he came home and i hid in my room. tried to use comp but it was time for me to meet daniel. so went out of house at 11. reached lakeside earlier than expected. and, he was late. -.- but, its okay. i had nothing to do anyway. met up with him and got my things. FINALLY. a bible of my own. (: but, its extremely heavy. ohh well. im not acting cool, daniel.
came home and used comp all the way until now. watched season two of the anime all the way. im tired. shall get some rest.
okay, im feeling better already. just that, sometimes, i dun feel like talking. LOL. ohh well, finished one series of anime. (: its only 13episodes. not a lot. haha. here's the song. :DD
ohh, the anime one is nicer. cause, these two guys their actions a bit.. LOL!
why is it that parents are always correct? so what if they did something wrong? dun they have to apologise? i hate this..
off my comp today at bout 5plus, was tired and went for a nap. while i was napping, i asked my cousin to finish his work. at bout 6.10, my dad woke me up. i haven even fall asleep yet. -.- ask me and my cousin to go out and eat. i was like, im really tired. can i rest more. furthermore, my cousin haven even finish his work. so, my dad waited until 6.30. my mum called, and he start to complain how i dun wanna wake up. he dragged my cousin out. i was like super irritated. cause i can barely rest. -.- then i wanted to bathe first before going out. but before that, i wanted to sms my mum to tell her i'll be later than my dad. in case she scolds again. but, i guess i just cant avoid getting scolded.
as i was texting her, my dad called her and complain bout me. that i dun wanna go eat. hello. i just wanted to bathe. my mum called asnd started ranting. i was totally pissed off. super much. i just had a quarrel with her and now, another one. i just cant do things right. even though i did my chores today, so? still get scolded. and she was like, "no need to eat is it, wanna be God ar?!" all i said was,"i was tired. so wanted to have a bathe before going out. i was halfway texting you." and she's replied, "tired.. you never even work and you tell me you're tired.." what's got to do with work????????? ya, true, i dun have a work currently. so? does it mean that i cant get tired? i barely slept for an hour!
then i was extremely pissed already. what can i do? i cant even vent my anger. who, what can i vent my anger on? i feel super terrible. inflicting physical hurt on myself to get rid of emotional hurt. that sucks. now, my knuckles hurt. ever since young, what can i do when im angry? im the youngest in the family. quarrel with my brother, obviously he win. he's older than me and he's a guy. quarrel with parents? come on, definitely lose. LOL.
went to bathe and got out of the house asap. then after that, waited for the bus for super long.. adds on to my anger. when arrived at the dinner place, they finish their meal liao. so my mum order something for me and i faster eat. the whole time, i didnt speak. then my mum hinted that my cousin will be staying over at our house. i was like "?!". i just ask questions in a very not happy manner. and she told my cousin, "their reaction shows that they dun wan you to stay in my house, but i just want you to." i didnt even say i dun wan him to stay here. -.- forget it.. and, she said that my cousin was tired, when he had slept 3hrs today. he also never work what?! y can he be tired but i cannot? my dad today also never work what. but y can he nap????
on the way home, my mum told me that i'll have to bring him to tuition tmr in the morning, 10.30am. but before that, i have to bring him home first. im like............ what can i say. then i tell her (in a not very nice tone too) that i dunno how to go his tuition place. and my mum rebutted my like shit. ya, true. i said that i'll help take care of my cousin during my hols, tutor him and help with his work. she used that to rebut me, saying, "now ask you to bring him to tuition very hard is it? who was the one who said (those things above)?!" i was like, i cant say anything, can i?
i was already in tears but i had to not let it drop down cause, its the public. LOL. when they wanted to go Lot1, i was like, i go home first. i felt super terrible. i dunno what to do. if i dun wanna take care of my cousin, i would not fetch him the first thing in the morning when i wake up. if i dun wanna help him with his work, i wouldnt correct him just now when he was doing his tuition work. how am i suppose to tutor him when he's under massive care from his parents and every relatives of mine? will his parents spend that extra money for him to buy assesment and let me help him in his work?! ya ya ya, i only know how to say la.
at least what she scolded me today was minor. ytd was even worse. i didnt read her sms and hence, didnt do house chores. when she got home, she scolded my like hell. i hated it when she always scold me this, "why am i wasting so much time and money on you?! what you want, you get it. i'd rather spend it on my three adopted kids than you! at least they send a thankyou every month. YOU?! dun make me throw you out of the house!" what the hell?? there's this thought in my mind for few years already. y cant i just leave this family and just get out of their life?! i just wanna pack my stuff and leave this house. it doesnt matter if i have a place to stay not... i'll just wait.............................
when they got home, i was in the living room watching tv. after that, she called me into the room for leaving my inner wear in the toilet to dry when it should be hung on the hanger. i took it and my clothes away. then she stopped me, scolded me for a super long time. one sentence she said, "dun ever give that look to me. no matter what i do, whether right or wrong, you better dun give me that look, im your mum." idiot, this just makes me hate her more. my dad also like nothing happen like that and heck care. my dad always stand on my mum's side. me? always fighting this battle alone. i've really really had enough. )':
i dun wanna step out of my room at all. i just wanna stay in this darkness and not care bout anything else. i dun wan her to come in to my room, i dun wanna see her in my room. i just wanna be alone. i dun wan to step into the brightness and see her. i just hope that i have a house of my own.
the one that can help me isnt here.. anymore. it feels like i dunno how to love anymore..
woke up this morning at 8plus 9, but refused to get out of the bed until 10.15. it was my dad's off day today. so, he'll be like at home the whole day, and i dun like. ): though he'll be helping me with all the house chores. but, i still dun like it when there's someone at home. cause, i'll be nagged like every minute? LOL, but, my dad never nags at me. haha.
alright, woke up and saw an sms from my uncle, asking me to fetch my cousin to the library then to my house. i was a bit like, aww man, not again! the last time he came to my house, he vomited on the floor and i had to clean up the mess. -.- ohh well, i've got my dad at home. so its okayy. (: then went to yew tee for brunch and waited for my cousin there. well, my cousin's cousin came to singapore too! :D they are like super cute! the older one's like fat, chubby, cute. :D the younger one's handsome, chubby and cute! :DD the younger one's only 5years old i think. haha. and, he's so good with his words la. he speaks fluent cantonese. though i dunno how to speak, but i certainly do understand what he's saying. (: so, they came down along with my cousin and then went home.
after brunch, we went to lot1 library to return my cousin's book. then head home. once i got home, i start packing my table (before i get another scolding -.-) well, packed 2boxes of books. and, its extremely heavy. i cant lift them up at all. and i had a hard time pushing them away. well, my house's on renovation, so, gotta pack all the stuff first. hmm, not those MAJOR renovation. but, just a bit here and there and then repaint the whole house! :D my room's BLUE! my brother's GREEN and my parents, PURPLE. hah. i wanted green initially but, ever since young, my bro have been using green and i, blue. so, we shall follow the custom. HAHA.
im only halfway done with my packing. i have to continue later. now, slacking. suppose to go out at 4pm today! )': but, i got scolded cant go out. then josh and keneth cant go too. ): in the end have to forfeit it. REALLY VERY SORRY, CHEANPIN! sorry to daniel and changyen too.
alright, woke up today to receive a call from my mum. she asked me to bring my comp down to IMM to get it fixed by her friend. so, i woke up, bathed and rest all the way until 1pm. had bread from my breakfast, with ham! :D haha.
at 1, i left house and carried my comp over. super heavy la! -.- so, i went to IMM and had japanese food. haha! i've been having good food lately. :D my mum jio-ed my grand aunt along cause they had to pass each other things. alright, my comp was fixed like super fast, over lunch. haha. then stayed awhile in my mum's office to slack. and my mum's colleague was like, "wahh, your daughter very pretty liao wor. got bf not?" i was thinking, "not say very sensitive ar." both my grand aunt and my mum's colleague asked the same qn la. then my mum was saying, "she dare..." but got rebutted by her colleague! haha. so funny. then i faster runaway. go home first. LOL.
now, im finally using my own computer! :D haha. but, a bit weird, not really use to it. and, i have to re-download maple.. -.- ohh well.. haha. (:
hey! its my kor's birthday today! :D haha. we went dian xiao er to celebrate lo. (: with my relatives they all. after the meal, we had a cake and sang happy birthday song there. (: i think my birthday dun even have cake lo. -.- how fortunate my bro is.. haii. HAHA.
alright, he's now back in camp. (: he didnt rest the whole of last night lo. trained all the way till midnight then come home in the morning. and i was still sleeping in his room cause of a roach. -.- but, its dead anyway. haha!
okayy, confession to make. i think im like super smittened by taylor lautner! :D like super crazy. LOL. i wanna watch twilight! and im looking for the book. i've read a few pages of it online. quite okay. (: and, i wanna watch new moon again! :D to see jacob black. haha. so siao. waiting for eclipse..
hey, this is a very late post. was chatting with jeremy and daniel's mum! :D i think she's really nice and super zai.
it was suppose to be like a conversation about jobs. in the end, it was about my future. i just asked for a few advice and she gave a lot. she actually change my mind from going to TP. well, my dream was to be an interior designer. intially, i thought that TP would be a good poly for designing. but, from daniel's mum, SP is better in interior designing. TP's more of fashion (ideal for cp!). haha. i think the best is still going to private poly, NAFA. she said that private poly teaches more of techniques while public poly is more of management. well, i've got a lot of time to consider and i only want interior architecture! :DD
what happens if a guy wants to interrupt your current life..
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
Remember the first time we met You was at the mall wit yo friend I was scared to approach ya But then you came closer Hopin' you would give me a chance
Who would have ever knew That we would ever be more than friends We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules She like a song played again and again
That girl, like somethin off a poster That girl, is a dime they say That girl, is a gun to my holster She's runnin through my mind all day, ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
See you been all around the globe Not once did you leave my mind We talk on the phone, from night til the morn Girl you really change my life Doin things i never do I'm in the kitchin cookin things she likes
We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules Someday i wanna make you my wife That girl, like somethin off a poster That girl, is a dime they say That girl, is the gun to my holster She's runnin through my mind all day, ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipon stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
I can be your melody A girl that could write you a symphony The one that could fill your fantasies So come baby girl let's sing with me Ay, i can be your melody A girl that could write you a symphony The one that could fill your fantasies So come baby girl let's sing with me
Ay, na na na na na na na Na na na na na na Shawty got me singin Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Now she got me singin
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head That i can't keep out Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my ipod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay
alright, today went out with JUST MARRIED JUST KIDDING! :D guess who they are bahh. haha.
met with one of them in cck then went to westmall mac. after that, we had our breakfast and sat there to chat. haha. after that, we were suppose to visit the baby. but, in the end we didnt cause of something. haha. instead, two of them came to my house! and the three of us played MONOPOLY! LOL. that guy won everything. haha. we played for like few hours la. :D then went online to check for HOT GUYS and BABES! :DD taylor lautner! his pacs! haha.
they went home bout 40mins ago. (: then now, im here to blog. haha.
okay, i know, i haven been blogging for the past weeks. i was just too lazy. haha. but, for CHEAN PIN, i shall post. hee. :DD
alright, went to watch NEW MOON with cheanpin, josh, daniel and peisan. i was chatting with daniel and we started to get bored so, we decided to catch a movie. :D i haven watch twilight lo. then watch new moon liao. well, i have to say, im rather addicted to the show. (: or, the actors maybe.
after that, we went to kfc and chat. :DD very nice. there's this feeling of meeting up as old friends. we chatted quite a lot. then daniel and i started to get interested in the twilight books. (: hee. ohh well, im the JACOB TEAM! :D:D
TAYLOR LAUTNER :DD aka JACOB BLACK!
*faints* this is better than his long hair. :DD
YAY! obviously the JACOB team :D cute~ :DD
alright, the next guy, CHARLIE BEWLEY! :DD he's actually DEMETRI in the movie. i love the scene where he fight with ALICE CULLEN. (: very nice. that pair. haha.
